Sameness

At what point does your work persona become part of your self definition?
I desperately want to dye my hair again. I want to stand out. I hate this city of phonies, all vying for power. But I act like one of them, waking up early, commuting while reading in my $250 suit. I feel like an imposer, I want to get home and change back to myyy clothes right after work. I am so much more comfortable in a band shirt. There are certain things that I would wear normally like this floral print dress, because it is so bright and well fitted that I have to wear a sweater over it. I like to think that someday someone will see me commuting and recognize that I am always listening to music. I want someone to ask what I am listening to. Recognize that I am trying to not be one of them. But don't I eventually want to work here? I walked by the IMF and WB and though cool I could have an office there! Isn't that why I am not getting a full sleeve of tattoos? (ignoring the pain and cost)
Maybe not wanting to be one of the crowd it indie, but thats how I have been for forever. I blame my mom. What did she think she was teaching me, decorating our house with south west stuff. Seriously we have the most kachinas I have ever see outside of Arizona, which is so out of place in our neighborhood of box assembled colonials.